Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
