How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
