I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
