omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
