Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
