i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
