i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
