I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
