I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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