i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
