Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
