so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize