Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
