I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
