i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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