Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
