I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
