ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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