I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
