She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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