Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so let's talk penis.
do herpes really smell.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
