He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
