Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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