She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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