coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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