Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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