When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
