I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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