I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
