Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
