Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
