i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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