I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
