She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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