just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
