ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
