I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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