I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have fence marks all over my body
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
