i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
