But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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