I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
