fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
