this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
