just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
