Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Enjoy the penises
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
