am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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