Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
