Where did you get a picture of my penis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
