is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
