i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
