I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
