Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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