I must be too annoying 4 u.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
