I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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