i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
