Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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