I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
