she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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